Today i'm talking about body confidence, well really my lack of body confidence. Since having Amelia my body has changed alot and honestly I don't feel very confident in myself anymore. I have never really been happy with my body, like everyone I have those bits that i'm not happy with. I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago! I did Slimming World and lost about 2 stone! I was the happiest i've ever been with my body. I felt slim and toned and felt proud of myself. I found out I was pregnant this time last year and during my pregnancy I did put on a lot of weight. I had a lot of morning sickness and a lot of food aversions. I just felt like I was going to get big anyway so I stopped doing Slimming World and just ate what I wanted too.
After I had Amelia I felt like the weight would just drop off me and I'd start going back down to my pre-pregnancy weight but that hasn't happened. I want to start eating well again and doing some exercise but I need to ease myself in as I haven't done much for about a year. I am very active, I walk a lot as I don't drive so I walk into town. We go to Gymboree on a Monday and we get a lift with my friend but we can't fit my pram in her car so I carry Amelia in her car seat from the car to Gymboree and back to the car which is a good walk, my arms are always killing. We also live on the fourth floor with no lift so i'm always carrying the pram, car seat, Amelia, changing bag, shopping etc up all of those stairs. I would consider myself quiet active but I just eat too much chocolate and cake.
It's not just my weight that is now an issue. There's a couple of other things that have affected my confidence. My periods have been very sporadic since having Amelia so I always feel on edge and unprepared in case I come on. This underwear from Knixteen has a built in pantyliner, so I wouldn't have to worry about leaking. It also has odour-crushing technology, it's designed to soak up moisture and dry fast and is seamless so no VPL. I really think something like this would stop me from stressing out.
I also have really bad stretchmarks! I used so much moisturer and oils to prevent stretchmarks. I didn't have any at all for most of my pregnancy and then in the last month or so they just came out of nowhere. I'm going on a spa day this week and I will be wearing a costume, I have always wore bikini's and even when I was bigger, before I lost weight I would still happily wear a bikini but now I'm not sure if i'll ever be able to wear a bikini as I feel like everyone will be looking at my stretchmarks. I know most women have them from childbirth and even some women have scars from c-sections and I should be proud that I carried Amelia but it's hard. I was fairly confident before but now i'm really struggling to be proud of my body.
Have any of you struggled with body confidence, do you still struggle or did you find coping mechanisms? Is there any way that I can over come this issue with the way I look? I know I can diet and loose weight but can I be happy with the way I look without always being on a diet? My weight and my appearance really stresses me out and upsets me and I feel good talking about it. I know i'm not alone and that I'm not the only woman who's lost weight and had a baby.
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